Grandma’s Guide to Smarter Holidays


Riding on the sleigh-tails (hehe!) of my Santa Claus post, I will explain why I don’t feel bad for being stubborn in my thinking. If you know anything about Asian parenting in America, it’s often an authoritarian parenting style, where there was little to no open dialogue between children and the parents. My siblings and I had little choice because they were demands in which we must obey. Santa Claus was never a driving force for my “good behavior” throughout the year, it was to please my parents by good grades, amount of house chores and to be seen as a good kid in the Lao community. This is why I want that open, honest dialogue with my kid(s) and the Santa Claus fallacy reminds me too much of when my parents demanded a one-sided view. Finally, he’s my kid and I’ll parent him any damn way I choose to. If those opposed to my parenting motives pushed my 8-lb watermelon through a lemon-sized hole then maybe, just maybe, we can talk!

Since becoming a mother, I feel that I have since “forgiven” my parents because they did the best with what they had and that’s all they knew. We now have a wonderful relationship especially since Humnoy was born. My mom is the first person I turn to for (some) advice when it comes to moral dilemmas, parenting, and Lao cooking. I wouldn’t go to her for birth support but she’s awesome either way. Here’s her quips on the controversy that is Santa Claus:

Today's Guest: Grandmommy Discusses Santa Claus

* Coincidentally, we watched College, Inc. and have since decided to no longer keep a government-run college fund for him.

That’s what I really wanted to say: I don’t like the commercialism of the holidays. Our society has been morphed into such a materialistic culture and, because I don’t agree with the norm, I am doing a disservice to my son’s happiness? I would rather raise a son who associates happiness with real people, not toys and especially not an elusive man who creeps down the chimney and won’t allow for face-to-face meetings.

What is so wrong with him knowing that he is getting gifts from the actual people who are giving it to him? I personally feel most loved and warm when I know a loved one’s sentiment was attached to a gift. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about? Santa Claus has had too much of my energy expenditure for the year, I’m skipping the egg rolls and fortune cookies for him this year. 😉

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4 thoughts on “Grandma’s Guide to Smarter Holidays

  1. I couldnt agree with you more! Let’s face it, you are already way outside of the norm anyway because you choose to question and make your own decisions for you and your family about everything. Christmas is no different an you shouldn’t feel bad for wanting the best for you son.

  2. Question, Are you going to tell Humnoy that there is no Santa Claus or not mention it at all and let the issue come up from TV/school/day care/babysitters and let him start his own questioning?

    Sorry to hear about the dramaz this is causing for you. Whatever you and your hubs can mutual agree upon will be the best for him.

    • I will not bring it up personally. For example, I will just conduct our normal family Christmas tradition once established until he is involved or informed of other people’s traditions (e.g. Santa Claus) then explain to him that they like to make-believe and play for the fun of it. I will refrain from using the negative words “fake” or “lies” because I don’t want to disrespect those who do believe in it at all! Therefore I hope those who do can respect my new family’s beliefs as well. For sure he’s getting new pjs every year!

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