No, I didn’t make my first substantial blog post in about two weeks to put up adorable pictures of my kid on Thanksgiving because I got a load of those, don’t worry. I came back from my blog-neglect hiatus to address some issues in this world that are just beyond my control. Issues that show there are truly disturbed people that think they know it all about everything they know nothing about. I have encountered one so idiotic that an unmarried (assuming) and childless (God willing) woman is spewing off on the dangers of co-sleeping. Wait, there’s more! She goes on to diagnose bed-sharing as abuse for unwilling children! If only my breastfed baby could only say, “Mother, I hate sleeping next to you and my father. I am afraid you will get sexually excited therefore you must call CPS once we are up in the morning.” Here is her attempt for advocating for my child because he “digs” bed-sharing:
Co-Sleeping as a Form of Child Abuse
November 16, 2011
I want to warn everybody that this is a sensitive topic for me. So I kindly ask people not to be jerks in their comments. If you have a burning need to share the story of how you sleep in the same bed with your child and that child totally digs it, I ask you to take this story elsewhere. Here, it will bring you no applause.
Every form of emotional abuse of children comes out of the parental incapacity to see children as separate human beings. There is nothing more dangerous to a child’s psyche than a parent who sees that child as an extension of him or herself. Parents often invade the personal space of their children in ways they would have never allowed themselves to employ in respect to other adults. Putting children to sleep in the same bed with themselves is one of the most egregious invasions of a child’s personal space that a parent can come up with.
Children start exploring their bodies and masturbating early in life. Obviously, it cannot be very healthy for a person’s developing sexuality to experience his or her first instances of sexual arousal in the same bed with the parents.
At the same time, adults normally have erotic dreams. (Whether you remember them or not is, of course, completely immaterial.) It is also hardly a good thing for a child to wake up and observe a parent who is orgasming in his or her sleep.
One of the greatest challenges on the road to a healthy sexuality for both men and women is to learn to select partners exclusively on the basis of their own sexual desire. Parents who drag children into bed with them exercise their authority over the children in order to service their own tactile needs. Later on in life, such children have absolutely no idea how to reject unwanted tactile contacts.
There is a mile-long list of justifications parents who practice the so-called co-sleeping have come up with to excuse their invasion of the personal space of their miserable children. I read such lists a couple of times and they made my hair stand on end. There are people who seriously say that sleeping with children is acceptable because it allows them to save on heating. Truly, the hypocrisy of child abusers knows no bounds.
The only real reason why adults drag children into bed with them is because they are incapable of developing a relationship with another adult(s) to satisfy their tactile needs. To put it bluntly, they can’t persuade anybody to touch them as much as they need and to share personal space with them, so they use the only people who cannot refuse them, their unfortunate children. And if those children then have to spend the rest of their lives trying to deal with the emotional and sexual problems they develop as a result, who cares?
I know that this post will make many people very angry. But as long as there is a tiniest chance that I might persuade at least one person to get out of his or her child’s bed, I have to use it.
If you thought that was idiotic, please continue on to the Best of Idiotic Feminist Comments shared here. Obviously she thinks every natural basic need is just plain damaging. How, I wonder, did babies survive and thrive in the time before bottles and cribs?
Being the intimacy expert that she is, she may need some tips and pointers from a Mama who gets laid. We bed-share and we have an active sex life. How lame is she for only doing it in bed and insinuating that parents use co-sleeping as a crutch for no sexy time? Again, disturbed.
I was raised Buddhist and was taught that talking ill of other people is very, very bad. I hope my grandmother understands that I just can’t let this idiot go unseen. I can redeem myself with that she will be in my thoughts to live and let live. I didn’t want to link her post because I do not want to give her the pleasure of gleaming at her computer with hits on such uninformed writing. If you feel the need to read all 234 comments, I will gladly lead you in that direction.
Do you see any valid point she is making? Do you know of messed-up children who were breastfed and co-slept? If so, could it be possible that there were other environmental factors to be “messed-up”?