Sh*t Mainstream People Say When You Don’t Want Kids


main·stream/ˈmānˌstrēm/
Noun:
The ideas, attitudes, or activities that are regarded as normal or conventional; the dominant trend in opinion, fashion, or the arts.

From pregnancy activities to interest of homeschooling, all my choices in motherhood are due in large part to because everyone is, well, not doing it. In addition to creepily rubbing my pregnant womb, strangers and especially well-meaning friends would offer their advice – generally unwanted, of course. “Normal” has evolved into ignoring the biological and instinctual cues as parents for the sake of conforming or convenience.

Here is my experience with shit mainstream people say about…

Choosing to Be Child-Free

Remember that option on MySpace with basic information such as your marital status, body type, and even your income? There was an option to list your “children” with Yes, No, or Someday. I clicked the “Love kids, but not for me” category. I was proudly child-free because kids complicate things and steal your life’s ambitions. With a mention of this, I get my share of sympathetic brows and heartbroken frowns and usually,

You’ll change your mind.

This isn’t Denny’s where I can change my order. I don’t care to eat the Sizzlin’ Skillet and you say I will eff up my day by going without the Sizzlin’ Skillet. Everyone else gets the Sizzlin’ Skillet and I’ve seen how messy it gets and if you touch it, you’ll get hurt. I like the idea but the Sizzlin’ Skillet is just not for me. You go on to say the Sizzlin’ Skillet has finally entered meaning into your mundane existence and that you always dreamed of the Sizzlin’ Skillet since you were a little kid. Love ’em, but kids were not for me. The ironic thing is that a child-free person totally could change their mind and have kids later down the road. Well, dang, what happens when you aren’t really impressed with parenthood and your kids are hellions and now want to fulfill your dream of backpacking in Europe? Not very many options there, buddy. All I had to do was get knocked up to show that you were right all along. I actually would love a Sizzlin’ Skillet if a Sizzlin’ Skillet were Humnoy and dessert were busted myths of mainstream parenting. Sizzlin’ Skillet is pretty bitching and my life does have a whole new meaning. Now, I dream of having more Sizzlin’ Skillets with a dash of unconventional to complete my crazy meal.

What shit did mainstream people say about your life before having kids? Have you always wanted kids? Do you have people in your life that are child-free? How are they now that you have child(ren)? What mainstream parenting horror stories did you de-bunk?

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