As Humnoy’s first year mark comes near, I am constantly reminded that the word “family” has so much more meaning than just “mom” and “dad.” It goes beyond just beyond blood and water. Family is something you strive to constantly improve, love better, and know more. Our family started with our surprise pregnancy and our hasty chase to share a last name. I love my husband for his ability to understand me the most and support/agree with my alternative thoughts and ideas. I found to love my husband even more when he became a father and this man blossomed into the biggest softie who speaks in high-pitched baby voices all day, every day. I love my son like there hasn’t been anything so special in my life until he was born. I love him more each day when he slobbery kisses my cheek, when he places his little hand in between my boobs when he’s nursing, and when he makes my day so much more exciting and chaotic all at the same time. To now, our journey of “family” continues to connect.
An ironic twist in my current family relations occurred just this past week. As I am doing my best to protect my brother’s family, I find another opportunity to expand my family ties where it is due. While I am frustrated at the initial situation, a chance opportunity has connected me to another part of family I had little to no contact with until now. I have officially connected with my older half-siblings that live in Michigan. From the aforementioned shotgun wedding came a wedding announcement in my hometown paper, which led to a search for my maiden name. From sharing the same last name to seeing that name in Facebook comments, I have an older sister and and older brother here in the U.S. that I can call my own.
I will channel all of this negativity from the stress of my brother’s paternity issues to truly connecting with family. I am trying my best to avoid the stress and the drama and let manipulators dwell on their moral consequences so I can really provide positive energy to get to know my big brother and big sister and their families.
Our culture is rooted in extended family, who doesn’t turn away family because they made bad decisions, arrive at an inconvenient time, or have health problems. We embrace them and provide what they need when they need it – material, physical, or emotional.