Sh*t Mainstream People Say About Finding Out the Sex of Your Baby


main·stream/ˈmānˌstrēm/
Noun:
The ideas, attitudes, or activities that are regarded as normal or conventional; the dominant trend in opinion, fashion, or the arts.

From pregnancy activities to interest of homeschooling, all my choices in motherhood are due in large part to because everyone is, well, not doing it. In addition to creepily rubbing my pregnant womb, strangers and especially well-meaning friends would offer their advice – generally unwanted, of course. “Normal” has evolved into ignoring the biological and instinctual cues as parents for the sake of conforming or convenience.

Here’s my experience with shit mainstream people say about…

Finding out the sex of your baby.

Well, don’t you want to know so you can [insert superficial reason]?

BabyCenter says, “Sixty-four percent of mothers-to-be in a BabyCenter poll said they wanted to find out the sex of their baby ahead of time, while the rest preferred to wait.” They go on to say that there are actually ‘benefits.’ As in it’s somehow physically beneficial and emotionally rewarding to discover the sex before the big finale.

Benefits of finding out:

  • Many women say they feel a deeper bond with their baby once they know the sex and can picture a little boy or girl.
  • You can prepare an older sibling for the arrival of a new little brother or sister.
  • You can narrow down your list of baby names.
  • You can pick out a gender-specific nursery theme or baby clothes, if you want to.


Hm. I don’t know about you but those reasons are really insulting. The moments I had to take three naps in a day just to function in my first trimester is the best bonding I could get with this new little fetus. Humnoy? He could give two shits about a little brother or sister because he’s more interested in the two milky things up above my belly. Names, I sorta understand but I’m really unconventional with my kid(s) names anyway but come on, narrow that shit down to a Top 3 list. Gender-specific clothing? Oh, the 3-4 changes of clothes in a day that newborns shit and spit up on. I don’t care if he’s wearing a clown costume, the least of my worries is if his nursery is going to be baseballs or pink unicorns. If you’re going to get us anything, please make sure it’s tons of nursing pads and shit I picked for my registry.

Now, before you think I’m saying it’s ridiculous you found out your baby’s sex, please know that we did too the first time! This time, I want this. I want a true element of surprise because, after all, isn’t life so lacking of them now? What with all these advancements in our daily life, we can find out the weather for the next month, cars can detect what’s in your blind spot, and view thousands of profile pictures before ever meeting someone. The one thing I can control throughout this unforeseen journey inside of me is this legitimate surprise on the day he or she decides to appear. I’m not Team Pink, Team Blue, or even Team Green (really?). I’m just patiently waiting for Team Baby to make this family more full and happier.

Did you find out the sex of your baby? What was your main reason? Do you think you could ever have self-control to keep it a surprise?

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29 thoughts on “Sh*t Mainstream People Say About Finding Out the Sex of Your Baby

  1. We found out for Henry. For me, it was a bonding thing to picture our little boy in the womb. It helped for the naming too, mostly because I picked his name out really fast and was soooo lost for a girl name. 🙂

    I don’t understand though why people care if you find out or not. It’s a personal decision, a morally neutral one, so who cares?

    The nursery and clothes thing cracks me up. Even when we found out we were having a boy, I told everyone I know that I didn’t want 193248092384 blue things for him. Kids like ALL colors, dangit, and my baby sure doesn’t know the difference at this age anyways. Babies don’t care about pretty nurseries either…haha.

    I do know that I would never be able to find out and then not tell people. It would be too easy to spill. I don’t know what I’ll decide for future babies, but I’d either have to find out and tell, or not find out at all and be a surprise for everyone!

    • That’s my experience too! People always getting all these blue things but what about when we have more children? Just more color-coded crap!

      I’m very anxious though, to be honest. I want to in a way find out “just to know” but I’m sticking to my guns. 😉

  2. I wanted to find out but neither of my girls would open up their legs during the ultrasound. That was in the 1990’s though; I’m sure ultrasound technology has improved as neither even looked human on the screen. And, maybe, their closed legs should have been a clue! Anyway, completely agree with you that you can bond without know the sex and that babies could care less about nursery and clothing colors.

    I’m new to following your blog and am enjoying it, especially your honesty and sarcasm 🙂

    Christina

  3. You make some awesome points! I am so back and forth on finding out but the closer I get to the ultrasound date the more I’m like YES TELL ME. Also I’m so sure I’m having another boy but I crave confirmation. 🙂

  4. We didn’t find out the sex for our son either and it was so much fun! The irony is that I, too, wanted a surprise for the simple fact that there are so few once you hit adulthood. Our son arrived 6 weeks early while we were visiting my family in NC, so to say that was a surprise is an understatement. Two surprises in less than 24 hours!

    I also wanted to mention that I went to school with your hubby & I’m really enjoying your blog:-)

    • Hi Emily, I’m glad you’re reading what I’ve got to say! Means a whole lot to me!

      wow. You got the double-whammy package with the surprise sex! I’m glad you were able to get your surprise you wanted, extra included. 😉

  5. We wanted to know but munchkin didn’t cooperate at all during the ultrasound – legs closed AND umbilical cord in the way! We couldn’t get any more u/s; she was “too healthy.”

    I’m all for gender neutrals, though, even if we had known. So much more practical that way, unless you’re “one and done” for sure. (Though once Ashelyn was born 80% of everything we received was pink …)

  6. We found out the sex of both. I know it’s a stupid reason but I’m way too impatient! I love instant gratification. I don’t think I could wait the whole 9 months knowing that i COULD know already! But I think you’re so right. There are not many surprises left in this world and that is one of the most special ones you could get. Good for you! AND CONGRATS ON #2!

  7. I like the element of surprise – also, for me, it was about meeting my baby for the first time, without preconceptions (pardon any pun) of what they’d be like.
    A woman at my gym announced the due date, sex and chosen name for her baby at 20 week pregnancy. I wonder what she announced at the birth.

    It’s the first question that everybody asks you when you’re pregnant, and not all people are understanding when you tell them you want a surprise (I was told by several that it was inconvenient for *them* because they couldn’t pick out a baby gift yet. Seriously???!!)

  8. I knew Potamus was a boy from the minute I saw the line on my pee stick. I just wanted to find out, and was happy to be able to confirm for everyone that my mama intuition was right (i did this at my chheckup before he was born, too, saying I just feel like I’m already dilated…sure enough, was at a 4 11 days before he came). Even though I knew his gender and we had a name, I still couldn’t even really picture him as anything more than a concept…and maybe as a baby if I was lucky.
    The nursery thing is interesting. We still don’t have a “proper” nursery..I told people by the time he is sleeping in his room he can probably give US a good idea about what he wants it decorated with…

  9. I actually find this hilarious because we did find out with both and whenever someone says to me that they wanted to be surprised my response is always, “believe me, I was very surprised… it was just on a different day!”

    And I wanted to find out specifically so that I would get to spread the surprises out. I’m prone to getting ‘down’ after big events (at 31 I still cry on Boxing Day when the family leaves and Christmas is over) so I was honestly worried that the more I had riding on the birth day, the harder I would fall afterwards. I was still surprised by the onset of labour and by what he looked like (especially by his third nipple which was a total shocker!).

    But ya, this is one of those decisions that doesn’t affect the health of anyone either way (as long as we’re not talking about gender selective abortions obviously) so I really don’t get why everyone gets so worked up. Same the energy to fight the genital cutting!!!

  10. Did you find out the sex of your baby?—-> Yes ma’am! Just my personal preference. Just for the sake of knowing. To me I really dont care if people do or don’t, however I DO want to know.

    What was your main reason? —> I have a trunk full of girl clothes that I wanted to know if I should keep or not (we have limited space).

    Do you think you could ever have self-control to keep it a surprise? —> Nope, I am too much of a control freak?!?!?1 #dontjudgeme LOL

    Great post my dear and more power to you 🙂

  11. Are you not planning to have any ultrasounds? Or just to not find out the sex? I hear more people keeping it a surprise the second time around.

    • My midwives are leaving it up to us if we want an ultrasound at halfway point, which coincides with the anatomy check if one chooses.

      I don’t see the point of an ultrasound as I’m low-risk. Then again, who knows? Maybe I’ll just decide to have that single one the entire time. I’m being lax about it 🙂

  12. Pingback: Surprise! My Instincts And Ultrasound Confirmed It’s A … | The Laotian Commotion

  13. I really wanted to be surprised with our first, so we were. With our second, DH wanted to know, so… ok. We found out her plumbing, but chose not to tell anyone what it was. With this baby, DH again wanted to know, although as it turned out, it would have been difficult not to see! I have chosen to share with some people but not all; I found there were issues I needed to process among my tweeps, so I’ve been open about it on Twitter, but have chosen not to discuss it on FB or with just anyone in person.

  14. Pingback: Forget You: Why I’m Not Claiming To Be A Mom On My Birthday | The Laotian Commotion

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