Yeah, I Said It: Raising Boys Is A Tougher Job Than Raising Girls

Having my chance to raise an adjusted human being is generically the best thing I have ever and will ever get to do. Feminism be damned, but it’s true. If you think parenting a daughter in fast society is tough, try living up to being a contributor to raising the population that repeatedly attack, degrade, and downplay women. I have to make sure I don’t raise a rapist, wife beater, or deadbeat. It is clearly much of a bigger and more difficult job raising sons to think rape jokes aren’t funny and know that rape is rape versus raising daughters to know the danger signs and self-defense techniques from our boy predators.

How can I make sure my son grows up none of these things with the language we use in their early years? Comments like “He’s going to be such a heartbreaker” are actually, in essence, not a compliment even if he is absolutely adorable. No, actually; I would much prefer to raise him to respect advances from women and to not disregard feelings like a shallow bloke. We talk about how language for girls is important for their self-esteem and protection. Parents of baby and young girls are surrounded by hearing, “You’re going to have to fight the boys of with a stick!” or “You’re going to run into trouble with that one when she’s a teen!” All that language is implying that girls are running around flaunting ‘asking for it.’ Language in rape culture is not any different for boys only because they’re the other half. They’re the suspected assailant. The alleged party. The criminal.

Instead of telling our girls to cover up, we should tell our boys that there is absolutely no reason to justify the degradation of women. Rather than keep girls indoors after dark, keep our boys from creeping on unsuspecting/uninterested women. If in a situation where a girl appears clearly intoxicated, teach him that there is never a good time to unknowingly touch a drunk girl. EVER. For every societal or puritanical reason that is pitted against women and their lifestyle, there is clearly a preventative strike: raise your boys to recognize consent, respect boundaries, and practice maturity. If every man didn’t find sexist jokes funny, would it make a difference in protecting all the women? No. If my son found it offensive rather than funny, I did my job. Am I asking you to raise a sensitive man? Maybe. Even “nice guys” contribute to rape culture. I’m  asking you to raise him and not let rape culture mold our sons.

What do you think is the hardest thing about raising your son or daughter?

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7 thoughts on “Yeah, I Said It: Raising Boys Is A Tougher Job Than Raising Girls

  1. Great post. I so hear you that it is really tough raising a boy. I agree with what you say about making sure our boys grow up knowing that rape is rape and it’s wrong.
    I think the hardest aspect about raising a boy for me though is that I feel I have to try and balance out the negative view society has of boys and males in general.
    Little boys who are loud and energetic are called ‘little devils’, when they jump about they’re called ‘rowdy’ and people roll their eyes and exclaim ‘argh, boys hey’.
    Little girls exhibit the same behaviour and they’re ‘just being kids’, or they’re ‘lively’, often without the negative connotations. Male teenagers in particular are demonised to a certain extent, here in the UK anyway, and I think it’s a tough job to try and ensure my boy doesn’t grow up believing that he’s inferior to the opposite sex.
    I just want him to believe that men and women are valued equally in our world 🙂

  2. Pretty much everything you’ve said here contributes to my fear of finding out that we’re having a boy. I feel like I’m fully equipped to empower someone from an underserved or oppressed identity group, but having to raise someone to recognize their power, privilege, etc. – that’s a weighty, scary thing.

    • I know they mean well and it’s harmless but it just makes me think. What do you say back? “Thanks! Yep, my kid is so attractive that he’ll be breaking people’s hearts because that’s what we all want in a wo/man!” I dunno… I’m probably over analyzing.

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