First rule of Date Night is you do not talk about the kid(s). Second rule of Date Night is you do not talk about kid(s). I established these rules because I wanted to make the most out of the rare adult time with Gym Hottie. I wanted to get into a deep conversation and reconnect with the man I married. (HA!) No, I just wanted to see if we could possibly perform in society outside of being Humnoy’s parents.
In our family, we have gone out a total of three outings without Humnoy, including tonight’s. I’m not worried or deprived because I have made my reasons known why we don’t do date nights. We were out in a bar on a Saturday night. What did we talk about on a night out with my hometown friends?
Party life 8 years ago Being back in my hometown for the holidays means meeting up with good friends. These good friends were acquired at the ripe old age of 18, when I decided to take time away from school and
discover my strengths and weaknesses party hardy. Now, we are all graduated and married off and the party girl who proudly touted never wanting kids or marriage is in her third trimester of a second pregnancy planning a homebirth. Who am I?
New babies Speaking of pregnancy, another friend-couple are expecting their first child! They are the only other couple I know from our party heyday group to be (pending) parents. Of course, I tried really hard to keep the conversation on track outside of pregnancy and baby talk but it’s so fun talking about pregnancy and babies. I refrained from birth, breastfeeding, and sleeping talk so that’s huge for me.
Future babies I joked I could be pregnant for the rest of my life because I love making, feeding, and raising babies. I would love four, five little mini-us running around. It’s true but unfortunately Gym Hottie wants a second income. Boo, right? We also discovered our newlywed-couple friends are also “not not-trying (for a baby)” and that was again too exciting to not have baby talk!
Cosleeping The amazing fantasy of eventually owning a king-sized bed popped up in my head on our way home. Snarky GH noted he’d eventually like the kids to sleep on their own beds. I shot back that babies need to be close to their mothers and I’m not carrying a child inside my body for 10 months to then insist s/he get used to sleeping away from me for the rest of their life. There’s a time for everything. He however agreed that having Humnoy in bed with us is a nice setup because of all the perks of seeing his sweet sleeping face.
Bet on Humnoy’s sleep status I said Humnoy would still be up and GH thought Grandma would have an easy ol’ time getting him down. We ran through strategic logic and reasons why he was(n’t) asleep by midnight. Coming to a house with dimmed lights and bedroom doors shut, we thought we were in the clear although GH secretly wished he was up. Within 15 minutes of stepping foot into the quiet house, I am already nursing a never-was-asleep 20-month-old to a quick daze by 1:00 am.
Date night was great because we got to see old friends, hear good news, and get a little break although we otherwise would be completely satisfied with being at home with our kid of whom we did discuss way too much of. Date night pressure and its rules be damned, a parent’s job is never done. Even if you leave and try to focus on your life outside of parenthood, it’s near impossible to realize your identity of self-preservation away from being someone’s mama. We tried, we did but now that being the sole caregivers to another person on this earth is our biggest role right now, it’s a big deal. It’s who I am, who I want to be, and who I always was meant to be. I’ve always broken the rules, now just isn’t any different.
What are your rules for date night? What do you and your partner discuss?
Follow The Laotian Commotion by entering your email under my Follow widget, located on the Home page sidebar. I love when you get to read it from your inbox and absolutely love it when you take the time to comment!