Big


I did what any other soon-to-be mother of two would do when her first born decides to be a big kid: get a pedicure to avoid crying. Humnoy went on his very first bike ride with his dad and “uncle.” You bet I was beyond paranoid in the days leading up to this venture without me. I needed to know the reviews for the kid bike seat, what the helmet instruction manual said, and how much layering is too much layering in this achy Seattle winter.

When we finally reunited, I saw a boy who had so much fun, it was sickening. It made me ill that he did so well without me. He couldn’t be the same baby that popped out almost two years ago. That was it- Humnoy is almost two and about to be a big brother. The rest of the evening was full of clinginess from both mama and big brother. He asked “up” a whole lot and I happily obliged as I cooked dinner. I hopped in the bubble bath with him just so we can hang out. He even completely nursed to sleep unlike his predominant nibble sessions that he usually does.

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Maybe the baby is coming soon and we just went crazy with the clingy. He can go on as many bike rides as he wants. He will wean eventually. He won’t want me to give him baths anymore. He’ll be big but I’ll still be his mama, dammit, and as his mama, I will not be big and just cry.

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When did you realize your baby is no longer a baby?

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14 thoughts on “Big

  1. My daughter finally warmed up to my husband and weaned around the time she turned two in September. I still get emotional when she leaves to visit with my mom or when my husband has her outside, I even cry lol. But I am also relieved because my husband would complain so much about her always wanting me and never wanting to be with him! We have a good balance right now, daddy is getting to be the more fun one and I do more of the mommy work like brushing teeth and getting her to bed, so I am worried about the new baby coming and how stressful it will be on us all.

    • I feel the same exact way! I’m worried that the ‘independence’ will see its way out when BĆ©bĆ© gets here and then it’ll be even harder now that I’ve gotten a bit used to this big kid. šŸ˜¦

      I’m sure we’ll figure it out eventually. šŸ˜‰

  2. The first time I allowed Rayne’s grandma to take her for a few hours (when she was 5 months), I was so full of anxiety I didn’t know which end was up. I strapped her in the carseat and saw her off and walked inside, feeling totally normal. I was gonna be okay. Then my sister asked “Are you gonna cry?” Then my hands went up to my face and I yelled, “NO!” through the sobs. She was only gone for 3 hours. I didn’t allow her to stay the night until after she was a year, and I still worry when she goes! She does a lot of big girl stuff now (showering alone, making her own sandwiches, getting herself dressed, using the toilet, etc.) But I still consider her my baby. Although, I was feeling very nostalgic when I set up her toddler bed and surprised her with it. That was a big one for me.

  3. I am so excited for you! I had Rook the day before yesterday and it’s been so much fun seeing Silas turn into big brother and be so lovey on him! Tandem nursing is fun too! I can’t wait to hear how Humnoy responds to being big bro, and see if he’s getting a brother or a sister! Blessings to you and your upcoming birth! šŸ™‚

  4. Pingback: Why I’m Glad My Toddler Isn’t Weaned | The Laotian Commotion

  5. Pingback: Did My Mommy Hunch Ruin Overnight Camping? | The Laotian Commotion

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