NYAPU: Not Your Average Pregnancy Update I’m not here to tell you the size of my unborn child because even I don’t care if I have a petrified bean or a stumpy turnip taking my uterus hostage. I don’t plan on sharing the number of stretch marks (zero so far) or what I’m craving (food– I crave food). This is going to be the pregnancy update you never wanted to know yet will appreciate the impending honesty. Plus, don’t you want to know how horribly fat I’ve gotten?
As the most boring pregnancy ever to exist, my 38-week prenatal appointment had the most excitement in an entire nine months. I (safely) rushed through Seattle rain and eventually showed up 10 minutes late to my appointment, where my doula was waiting to meet me and initially meet the midwive(s). Clocking in with yet another perfect blood pressure reading, the rest of the appointment took an unexpected turn that may have compromised my chance at a home birth experience (continued below…)
How far along? 38 weeks, 3 days. Humnoy’s pregnancy lasted exactly 3 more weeks.
Measuring? 39 weeks; regularly measuring a week ahead for a while now.
Weight? No gain this week. Steady as a rock!
Mood? Frisky. I’m trying to get it all, uh, in because you can’t avoid the no-sexy-time rule for six weeks. GH is happily obliging though.
Midwife said? “Let me get a second midwife in here because I’m not sure if that’s the head or– let’s just get her in here!” My otherwise confident midwife startled me with her perplexed confusion and repeated belly exams. She goes on to oddly ask where I’ve been feeling the most movement. Before she suggests anything, I remembered one night where I felt an obvious surge of changed position as I lay in bed a few days ago. Moving on from one-after-the-other belly exams, my midwife uses what looks like an extra-extra large stethoscope otherwise known as the Leff stethoscope to check for a more accurate heartbeat to best locate body parts. Unsuccessful, she needs backup. Enter midwife #2.
The second midwife feels around and unfortunately agrees with Midwife #1 and says the lower part closely resembles a thigh rather than a Bebe head. Midwife #1 then recommends an ultrasound and orders the staff to call the last facility where I had my first (and what I thought would be the last needed) ultrasound to refer me in tomorrow ASAP. Coming back from scheduling with the hospital, Midwife #1 is followed in by none other than the co-founder of the maternity center and the doted ‘off-call midwife’ with 30+ years of midwifery service.
Midwife #3 asks if she may touch (the belly) and I figured why the hell not with a third opinion. Her aged and experienced hands feel around for Bebe and calmly asks where I feel frequent movement. With my answer, she then calmly suggests that my movement accounts are on point as the ‘hard and bony’ part is down near my pelvis. After an unplanned internal check, Midwife #3 was right. Bebe’s head is (still) down and the ultrasound is no longer needed. Back to being the most boring pregnancy ever.
Braxton Hicks? Last week had its bout with what’s called irregular contractions. I honestly thought that I jinxed myself with early labor.
Breastfeeding? Humnoy is back to doing what Humnoy do – not weaned.
Vagina? See: ‘Mood’
Have you had a scare in pregnancy?
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