My Problem with Mama “Me Time”


When Gym Hottie has to periodically remind me of finding my own recreation time or material possession, I’m dumbfounded. My life has been all about boobs, playgrounds, and regulatin’ a home for the past two years that I’m blindsided by a simple opportunity to be myself again. Not to mention the immense guilt I feel by planning such luxuries for myself. My problem with making “me time” happen is because I have no idea what I would even do or want.

west coast swing dance

I can’t help but give him an incredulous “WTF am I supposed to do?” as a reply. GH suggested I get back to the ballroom studio. With one child, it was much easier to step away for a weekly practice or a weekend dance once he reached an age where I didn’t have him on perma-boob. I have had to start over the cycle with this brand new boobie baby. An hour a week practicing on the dance floor while GH is nearby with both kids since Lanoy is still boob hoarding sounds manageable. He kept throwing ideas out for inspiration. A date with him, a pedicure, a hair cut? I stopped listening once he ventured into the territory of how I seem to be so unkempt. I admit there are “things” I want all the time but it is always something for the kids, never for myself. I always want something that will make my life easier. Useful ideas are pizza for dinner one night, an evening where I don’t have to do playground duty, or a water sling to be able to take the kids swimming on my own.

I know how important it is to be a good mother is to be a happy mother. Sometimes happy mothers like to drink wine, get a weekly manicure, or just lock themselves in the car to get some quiet time away from their wife- and mom-identity to regroup then all is well. The “wants” in my life right now relate to how to make my kids happier and healthier so, in turn, make me happier and healthier. My biggest problem is finding something other than kid-related and something truly just for my own selfish reasons. Even if it’s budgeted in just right, the guilt I feel for frivolity makes “me time” undesirable. I also know I will have the rest of my adult life to be me or at least until Lanoy lays off the boobs 24/7. Right now, I am seriously comfortable being a frazzled, tired and happy and healthy mama to happy and healthy kids, who get me when they need me because they won’t forever.

What do you do for mama “me time?”?

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9 thoughts on “My Problem with Mama “Me Time”

  1. I have decided to just go out to eat. By myself. Not every day, but at least 3 times a week, to start. I may add a yoga class, but not too sure because of the timing if the class. If I don’t do that, I’ll start swimming. Hope you start dancing soon!!!

  2. Once a week, hubs plays with Meese so I can take a bath BEFORE I put him down so I can fully enjoy the first 4 hours of his sleep. Pandora and a thorough head scrub, and water so hot my skin is still warm when I crawl into bed (ohhhh, it was a long 9 months!) and I’m a happy, HAPPY momma. That being said, hubs is in Oklahoma until next month and I’m okay with bathing after mase goes to bed. By the time I get out I miss him, so who needs me time?!

    • See? I always miss my kids when I’m without them! That’s a huge part of me not diligently seeking this coveted “alone” shit. I love hot showers too. During Lanoy’s birth, I asked GH to crank up the water heater. I take showers once the kids are down and after I catch up on Instagram, twitter, emails, my blog, so it’s midnight showering. I’ll take it over no showering.

  3. I do a lot of the same things I did before I had my now four year old. My comment got kind of long so I blogged about it at my own blog so as not to take over your comment space. I get the sense that I may be a little unusual in how much me-time I get; it doesn’t even feel like “me time” so much anymore in that it’s not occasional at all.

  4. I was just told I need to have me-time more often by a few of my family members. After feeling stressed at work I would come home a feel super guilty about not doing EVERYTHING I can with Bean during the week and be on overload on the weekends. It was getting unhealthy so I just chill a bit and try to make some me-time after putting Bean to sleep (that’s only if I’m still awake Ha!) After baby #2arrives I plan to start marathon training and many of my runs will be solo AND I can’t wait.

    Thanks for this post Theek. I often feel like meantime isn’t necessary but feel good when I do finally get some. LOL

  5. Girl! I could have wrote this post! Every time I’m alone in the house or babe and daddy have gone to bed early, I have nothing to do! Usually I listen to podcasts while I clean the damn house. I used to craft a lot or read a book and now I feel like I should be doing something else….

    I figure I have plenty of time to do.me things when she’s older…

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