Comparing (Your) Children To Each Other

4 month old sitting unassisted

Humnoy, 4 months old (Photobooth app)

I now realize that milestone checklists are shit. They make parents feel nervous, anxious, and sometimes failing. I felt that way with Humnoy’s language development while not one professional took into account his many other talents. Humnoy is a piece of work. We are constantly shocked at the stunts he pulls or can learn with just one example. I professed my stage-mom fear that I would try to ignore the highly possible sibling comparison. With Lanoy, I was at peace that she may not be advanced as her older brother. A running joke within our family but never comparing it to other children, of course, she will be the calm, collected child compared to her wild-child athlete of a brother. I admit we also joked that she needs to catch up when her three-month mark passed and she had yet sat up unassisted like her older bbrother. Unlike a checklist or other gene pools, I just compare my children to each other.

 Take, for example, when he rolled over at three weeks old and the reaction from our Facebook friends/family made us realize a baby born less than a month prior doing this is uncommon. As the law of amazing things not occurring often, I figured my experience with a child with impressive gross motor skills could only happen that one in a few chance. Focusing on other things like feeding and clothing and entertaining two young kids, I had no time or energy to constantly stay up-to-date with where they ‘should’ be on their milestones. As it turns out, comparing siblings to each other is a bit more accurate than the generic charts because they’re more similar than I thought they would be. I think big brother antics is rubbing off on our sweet cherub because she’s discovered screeching and putting all the things in her mouth while doin’ big girl things.

4 month old sitting unassisted

How do you measure your child(ren)’s development?

8 thoughts on “Comparing (Your) Children To Each Other

  1. Before I had my daughter I always thought comparing children was sorta rude as the women I had seen/heard doing it were vapid, obnoxious you-know-whats. I vowed never to do such a thing to my innocent bubba. Flash forward to NOOOWWW and I wouldn’t say I’m ‘comparing’ in a negative way but more along the lines of ‘I don’t know what else to talk about with you but since your baby is close enough in age to mine lets to ahead and compare notes.’ Now, I don’t compare to get ego points, and in all actuality I’m just curious about what other babies do since I’m pretty much only around mine. I like the diversity of growth and the differences that children have. I just wish people wouldn’t make it seem like they’re soooo damn important.

    • Like a milestone is as important as the child, right? I rarely talk about milestones now that we have two because people will either a) go on about what *their* child/grandchild/ son/daughter was doing or b) Will always warn me about the dangers of something something or other because Humnoy is rambunctious.

      • I like this method of milestone monitoring. Keep it with in. I must admit I read a lot but didn’t really keep track of what my lil Bean did when and just embraced all the new moments as they came. I keep womdering if I’ll be able to do the same with #2.

  2. Haha, admittedly there’s a small part of my brain that’s like, “MUST. WIN.” Thank goodness the rest of my brain knows that part is an idiot. Of course, I’ve heard of babies rolling over at three days old, so there’s never any “winning” anyway 😀

So, what do you think?

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