My Father’s Day Gift To My Husband and My Dad: No More Kids

I was a little bummed when the father of my children said, “No more children!” with Father’s Day right around the corner. Gym Hottie and I enthusiastically agreed with one another on the fact that this two-kids-at-once gig is plenty . . . for “right now.” My heart melted from the endearing thought that opens up the possibility for more mini-Laotian Commotions in the future. Another overwhelmed father in my life is my own. I called him tonight to wish him a “Happy Father’s Day” and I laugh at his 29th request for some odd task to research another fancy idea he saw on the computer (i.e., the internet). My father is an eccentric and odd Laotian man, who wasn’t ready for his daughter to even have one kid, let alone another one within two years. So, this Father’s Day I will give them the best gift both my father and my husband would appreciate: I’m starting birth control.

The last time birth control talk was initiated was during my final postpartum visit done when Lanoy turned six weeks with my midwife, who attended my home birth. She presented the options and the corresponding information along with risks, benefits, and what may work best for me. I listened to each option and tried real hard to find the best method to prevent my uterus from getting ransacked again.

The ‘pill’ What seems to be the most known form of female birth control, I have taken the combination kind in my pre-kid life and even took the progestin-only kind during Humnoy’s infancy. The mini-pill is a progestin-only (the synthetic form of progesterone) birth control pill. I hated the mini-pill. It messed me up. Well, really though I messed it up because you had to take it every day at the same damn time. Shit you can’t do when you’re a new mom learning about your new baby and other mom life happenings. Also, the hormones in them messed me up. I didn’t feel right. After all, it is a pill with some trace amounts being passed into breast milk. Combined with exclusive breastfeeding, the mini-pill’s effectiveness against pregnancy is 100%. I can barely remember to run a full dishwasher so this option is asking too much from me.

IUD (intrauterine device) There are two options: ParaGard or Mirena. ParaGard is wrapped in copper and lasts for 10 years; Mirena contains progestin (like the mini-pill) lasts for five. I always hear horror and success stories with this. I’m more worried about its rumored effects than how it’s inserted: in my uterus. The nice thing is that I don’t have to remember to pop a pill and it can be as effective as surgical sterilization. Uh, wut and whoa. Also it can be removed at any time. . . from your uterus . . . from a medical professional, not yourself nor by your inventive ways to spice up parent date night.

NFP (Natural family planning) This wasn’t really discussed at my appointment because I don’t think the midwife didn’t want to suggest something that can leave room for error. I always thought of this as the good ol’ Pull n’ Pray (“withdrawal” method) but this thinking led to this. There’s also the book, “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” that helps you plan or avoid pregnancy without any contraceptives. You chart your fertile myrtle moments and either pounce on it or avoid it like folding clean laundry.

Exclusive breastfeeding Yeah, did you know that exclusively breastfeeding your baby can be an effective form of birth control? Yeah, me neither. It works only if you meet the following criteria though:

  1. Your baby is less than six months old
  2. Your menstrual periods have not yet returned
  3. Baby is breastfeeding on cue (both day & night), and gets nothing but breastmilk or only token amounts of other foods.

My cycle returned at 10 months with Humnoy, which is a couple months after I returned to part-time work. This may not work for me because *jinxy, no jinxy* both of my babies began sleeping through the night before or at six months. NO JINXY.

Condoms No pills, no invasive procedure, no hormones, sometimes surprise baby. Oh, shit. You know how many times I’ve heard “the condom broke” and it wasn’t even me? To their credit, I’ve also heard of pregnancy happening with the other methods above as well. See? Human error and I have made plenty.

I am bummed there won’t be another new -noy in the immediate near future but pretty sure Gym Hottie is even more bummed with my most preferable birth control in the form of condoms. No hormones, no remembering/forgetting, and usually free. The actual frequency of Parent Sex greatly reduces his actual encounter with condoms so beggars can’t be choosers. I am interested in learning to chart using NPF in addition to using condoms. With all the options laid (heh) before me, this method seems easiest and fool-proof so he will just have to deal with the monthly bi-weekly weekly glove love.

birth control methods breastfeeding natural parenting

if it were that easy, stork.

Tell me your experience with birth control methods.

35 thoughts on “My Father’s Day Gift To My Husband and My Dad: No More Kids

  1. Only thing that has worked for me is the IUD. Each before I got pregnant and miscarried. I was on the patch.. Pregnant and miscarried, I was on the pill pregnant and miscarried, condoms with spermicide – pregnant and miscarried. So far so good with the IUD got it inserted in march and no double lines.. I pray I can make it until 34. I will take it out then and try for another one. If not pregnant by 35.. Back on the IUD I go.

    • Wow, I’m glad to hear a success story with IUD. I’m terrified of getting pregnant again because I have little time to spread between these two now. I’ll look into the IUD more but I’m content with condoms at least in this exclusive breastfeeding phase.

      • Well it isn’t a success yet.. We have to make sure Mr. Procreation doesn’t have super swimmers who manage to figure away around it. If I’m cussing in 3 or 4 months.. That is more than likely what happen lol!

  2. It’s funny you write about this. I hate the pill. I hate putting synthetic hormones into my body. It just messes with everything. I can’t use a diaphram. Just can’t do it. My uterus is too high and tilted back. Just can’t insert that darn thing. The IUD – it’s a no go. I’m uncomfortable with how it works – plus having something “in” that’s foreign – don’t like that idea.

    Condoms are the only way to go.

    Cept my husband and I are not good with condom use at all.

    I’m a ticking time bomb.

    My son is 10 months. I thought my period returned, but maybe not. My hormones seem a little wacky after my last birth.

  3. I don’t like to give out ‘free’ advice, but this time I am..Kyle can get fixed!!! Very simple, done on a Friday, back to work hormones in your body, no condoms and no more worries!!!! One boy, one girl, perfect family of 4! Wish I could have had one more..4 is just good!!

  4. I had copper IUD for 7 years prior to ttc with Makana. We concieved easily that same month. I had my 2nd one inserted at 6 wks pp. Have had no issues at all ๐Ÿ™‚ When ever we decide to ttc our 3rd will get “the great wall” removed. Hubs still says he tries to knock “the great wall” out lol He says he can feel it sometimes but its better than pills, shots, patches or condoms imo

    • “The Great Wall” is awesome. I will look into each option more carefully until I feel I want to venture into trying one but I’m not comfortable with synthetic hormones in birth control in my body.

  5. After my daughter, I was on the mini-pill for a short period of time because we weren’t having sex and it was pointless (six months we didn’t have sex). I was hesitant to rely on the EBF because of the “use this method only if you would be okay with children close together should it fail”. That wasn’t okay financially at the time lol. I guess we basically used the NFP method because we tracked my cycles pretty well. As soon as we were ready to try again, we got knocked up, miscarried, then got knocked up again.

    Looking back, probably our lack of a sex life contributed more to my uterus getting a break than any BC bc my cycles aren’t extremely regular. We just aren’t that sexual. Only after my miscarriage did I have two months of consistent 35 day cycles. I finally felt like a big girl lol.

    I think you’re dedicated enough to do NFP if you want to based on your dedication to your children in these posts. If your cycles are consistent, you’d rock it. Not like you’d need the validation. You do your research on everything.

    • I’m really interested in NFP at this point in addition to condoms as a safe back-up. I am going to at least manually chart or at least get an app, which I’m sure is plenty!

  6. I was on the mini-pill too 6wks postpartum. Then when my son was 1.5 (he’s 2 now and I’m still breastfeeding) I was depressed and was in horrible place emotionally.

    Nobody told me that breastfeeding this long can actually mess with my hormones. Went to my dr And she put me on full birth control pill saying the hormones will balance me out? Idk I think they are working sometimes robin just a bitch in general ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. We Did NFP and when you explain it to people at first they think you’re crazy. but the more friends that asked about it and looked into it they found that it was extremely simple and very enlightening. we loved the fact that we knew exactly when we needed to use condoms should we decide to use them. and then the rest of the time was just carefree we didn’t have to worry about it. there are several apps on phones that are free that can help you with your charting as well

    • I’m going to look into apps! Thanks for the great idea, Kendra! I really think this just makes sense and, of course, instinctual as with most else in motherhood ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. I hated the IUD. I have the horror story side. Crazy cramps, crazy hormones, unhappiness extreme. Got it removed and was just so much more at peace and happy with my body. Also find birth control to be a crap shoot, my beautiful wonderful baby was conceived while CORRECTLY taking my bc. I even did it on time each day! Super annoyed with doctors implying I must of been taking it incorrectly too. Pffft. We do the condom biz. Nfp seems awesome. I’m soo lazy ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    • Condoms seem just like the next best option when I don’t want to willfully choose synthetic hormones in my body, especially my lady bits. I know it has its fail rate too but they’re just easier, I think. I think I can avoid pregnancy that combined with NFP. We’ll see!

  9. I had two IUDs, both were the Mirena. The first one was pretty good. Only unpleasant side effect was that my sex dive was gone. Like gone, gone… :/The second one was a nightmare. I got it removed after months of depression, mood swings, headaches, lots of pain, and scary weight loss. Oh and ovarian cysts. Then I tried two different mini pills. The first made my daughter regress in her physical and mental development. Scary! The second my hubby said I had to go off of it because he didn’t like me while I was on it. Apparently I was a little hard to live with. It always played havoc with my, normally, very regular cycle. After that I got pregnant real fast with condoms. Since her I’ve been tracking my cycle and kinda using NFP. My own version of it at least. But it has been super great! No weird hormones. Nothing to remember to take. Nothing in my body. And it’s super enpowering to know your body that well. Good luck with everything!
    FYI, I use the iperiod app and I really like it. Super easy to use, lots of stuff on it and you can back it all up and sync all your info to multiple devises. ๐Ÿ‘

  10. I used the regular old combo pill, starting about 3 months before our wedding for, oh, about 14 years, LOL (literally– we just waited a long time to have kids). Apparently the pill was working hard all that time, because I got pregnant on our very first try, about 3 months after going off of it. I m/c, but then got pregnant again within 6 weeks of the m/c, so now I know I’m super-fertile. I mean, awesome, but yikes!

    I used NFP via Taking Charge of Your Fertility and using the Fertility Friend app to avoid for those couple of months, and then, of course, to conceive. Having been an exceptionally successful pill-popper for so many years (seriously, no problems, it was awesome), I am a tiny bit nervous to use NFP to avoid once Miss L gets to be 6 months (relying on LAM AND w/d now because I’m paranoid!) But I think we’ll do that– NFP + w/d + maybe spermicide for good measure, LOL. I DO NOT WANT to get pregnant again anytime soon! I am not even 100% sure I want another kid, though I probably will… Right now, my vague “plan” to have 2 kids about 4 years apart still sounds reasonably appealing, but I’m still just muddling through and coming to grips with Being a Parent (relentless!) so IDK. Seems reaaaaaallly unlikely that I’ll decide I want to get pregnant again within less than 2 years, bare minimum, though, so…

    Anyway. I am not going back on the BCP, even though I was the poster child for it for 14 years, because 1) I don’t want to mess with my milk supply in any way and 2) I have heard that your progesterone levels can be lowered for a while after you come off of it and am concerned that had something to do with my m/c, etc. Oh, and 3) my mom had a random stroke when she was only just barely 60 (no risk factors at all) and I am now 35, so, age + possible stroke risk = eh.

    I don’t like condoms myself, and I’d rather not put anything in my uterus if I can help it. So, NFP with w/d (or condoms if HE’D prefer) backup, it is. Once we’re definitely done, DH (who, incidentally, loves kids and comes from a big family) has long since agreed to get Le Snip-Snip.

    • Le Snip-Snip has been discussed but GH doesn’t want to consider it until we know for certain we are *done-done* with kids, which we are not completely sure about yet. Eeee, more babiessss!

  11. I’ve been on the mini pill since 6 weeks pp and I’m not enjoying it at all. The only thing it hasn’t messed up is my milk supply. I don’t have any friends with good stories about the IUD, and I’m already too large for the depo. And I’m way too frazzled for NFP. If I wasn’t so sure about only wanting one baby (at least for until mason decides he hates me) I’d just wing it.

    • I’m so glad it hasn’t messed up your milk, which I hear can be a huge problem with the pill. I didn’t notice anything with my supply either when I was on it but every other problem with it made me hate it anyway. I think there are great NFP apps, which is what I’ll look into because I’m on my damn phone all day every day anyway.

  12. Sooooo I haven’t told Instagram yet because I have hella friends and coworkers on there but I am currently 9weeks preggo with my second (unplanned) child. Oops. My first is only 10 months old. Yikes! I am literally scared to death at the concept of 2 under 2 by 2 different dudes. (Dont judge me. Shit happens.) anyways… I was BFing/Formula feeding bebe1 and only got a (very short) period in January. I got on the mini pill in Aprilish but, like you, was terrible at taking it everyday at the same time. My schedule is so freakin hectic and I never got a regular period so I was like “eh”. Then a few weeks ago I was drinking wine and was like, hey I feel sick. SHIT. Boom. Fertility goddess did not overlook my uterus. Sigh…..
    But to answer your question- i hate birth control. Patches, pills, inserts… They’re all shitty.. Condoms though? They’ll probably become my beeeest fwend after I pop out bebe2 in January. Eep!!

  13. My husband and I have only ever used condoms. They work fine for us and we’ve never had a breakage. I was always reluctant to go on the pill, because I didn’t want it normalizing my (35-day, no cramps, no mood swings) cycle! Tangentially, my daughter is 14 months now and I still haven’t gotten my period … normal? Odd? No idea.

    • Yeah, if yo’ period ain’t broke, don’t fix it! I will admit that in my pre-kid birth control days that the pill helped with acne and helped keep the horrid cramps at bay. I’ve heard that moms won’t get their period as long as sometimes 2 years!

  14. I use a method called “The Creighton Method” it’s a great natural charting method that stems from the “Taking Charge of your Fertility” mindset but it’s ran through an institute. (which is different than pnp method) What I like about it is I have someone who meets with me whenever I want to review my charts and cycles tell me what I am seeing what it all means and if something ever is “wrong” they have multitudes of doctors available to review your charts. They also (not that you have this problem but great for people that do) have a 90% non invasive success rate of “curing” solving infertility problems. I find it to be a pretty great system. It is great for trying but eye opening and easy for preventing as well. I like it because I don’t have to worry about anything unnatural in my body that may or may not cause problems. It leaves me 100% in control. Good luck on your search.

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