The Only Time I’ll Be Glad Someone Calls Out My Postpartum Belly Flab

Gym Hottie: “Uhm, babe?”

Me: “What?”

Gym Hottie: “Turn to the side.”

Me: *turns to my side*

Gym Hottie: “If you’re pregnant, I’m going to jump off the balcony. C’mere, let me see.”

*pulls on my postpartum pooch*

“Okay, good; never mind.”


We are not ready for another baby. But I can see how that scared the shit out of GH.

5 months postpartum pregnancy scare

not pregnant.

Has your partner said something very very very dumb about your body?

You can find me tweeting my hatred for pants on twitter, filtering the shit outta my kids’ mugs on Instagram, pinning food I’ll never make on Pinterest, and being a wannabe grownup on Google+

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12 thoughts on “The Only Time I’ll Be Glad Someone Calls Out My Postpartum Belly Flab

      • When I met him he was 130 lbs soaking-damn-wet! He was tall and skinny and had a big, fat head. Then he went to Afghanistan and shot straight to 180. Came home all beefy, walking around on two twigs. Now he’s got dad belly. But heaven forbid I say something about his creepy, hairy back mole!

      • Uh yeh. Mike too. Nothing’s more annoying than looking at your saggy belly and looking over at your husband pouting about his shrinking biceps. MAYBE IF YOU PICKED MEESES HEAVY ASS UP MORE YOU WOULDN’T HAVE THAT PROBLEM!!! Aaaaand out.

  1. He wouldn’t even dare. He would get throat punched so quickly he wouldn’t be able to talk for weeks.

    Also, he loves some cushion so I get away with a little pouch here and there. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. So I’ve read this post like eight times and it still makes me laugh! My husband has learned not to make such comments… Cuz I sure as hell will kick him in the crotch. ๐Ÿ˜‡
    (That annnnnd I’ve had some pretty frightening issues with keeping weight on, and he prefers some cushion as well.)

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