4 Painful Ways To Celebrate A Wedding Anniversary


If GH were Lao.

I couldn’t wait to feel the hot wash over my routine’s aches and day’s pain. By the time I cleaned the bathtub (boo) during my solo shower (yayyy) and toweled off the important body parts, the baby was up. It’s really like any other late night/early morning for me except today’s a day that I figured the universe should’ve provided me a little of a break once a year. Today’s my wedding anniversary and, today of all days, it’s just been a literal pain.

1) Pain in my neck No, I’m not talking about GH here (yet). Lanoy slept in the sidecar crib and I fed her from the bed. The side car mattress is lower than our pillowtop so I had to get in this funky side-stroke position with my arm pressed up against my ear and dangling my nipple near her mouth. It was just a mess. My body is rigid and my insurance is lacking so no chiropractor suggestions please.

4 ways my wedding anniversary can just eff off | The Laotian Commotion

Das me.

2) Pain in my boob Somehow, some way I not only managed to twist my neck in the middle of the night, I also caused my breast milk to get clogged. A plugged milk duct is painful and annoying at best. Hot massaging is minor relief but any wrong toddler roundhouse and you buckle onto the floor, rocking back and forth cupping your precioussssss boob.

3) Pain in my ass If you thought GH was gonna get away scot-free in this angry post, you obviously haven’t been following along. The man forgot my birthday. The man, you guessed it, also forgot our wedding anniversary. How do I know? Beside the “oh, I never would’ve thought of it until you said it” blip, he also coordinated obligated hospitality with his hometown buddy’s visit and short stay with us during our wedding anniversary.

4) Pain in my side Thanks to points 1, 2, and 3 I was up until 3 am deep cleaning the apartment while my darling, supportive family snooze. Other than my day of my glorious presence into your mortal world, I am supposed to not do anything on this day. I’m supposed to sit in my fuzzy robe while someone else takes the kids to the store, to the playground, and give them baths and wipe their asses. I’m tir—- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Happy anniversary to me!

How was your anniversary better than mine?

You can find me tweeting my hatred for pants on twitter, filtering the shit outta my kids’ mugs on Instagram, pinning food I’ll never make on Pinterest, and being a SEO creep on Google+

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6 thoughts on “4 Painful Ways To Celebrate A Wedding Anniversary

  1. My neck kills me toooooo from the cosleeping bf routine of he past 13 months.. Tho I’m more likely to forget our wedding anniversary as have no brain left from sleep deprivation and Guantanamo bay style wake ups throughout the night! I love your honesty; it’s boring to sugar coat motherhood because in reality it’s just not all roses! Xo

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