“Your. Wait. Will. Be. Fifty. Five. Minutes,” said Social Security Robocop over the phone. So, I waited 55 minutes and then some and finally the elevator music stopped. I put on my phone voice to hide my annoyance for waiting that long then “SUMBITCH!” because those fools hung up on me. It was Friday afternoon. See, the baby does not have a social security card, which I had applied for when she was born and never received.
Now, I wonder if her card has been stolen and someone’s running around with a n 8-month-old’s identity or if it has something to do with her home birth. Humnoy was born in the hospital and we received his card in a timely manner. I finally get around to speaking to an actual Social Security person and they tell me the following things I need to do in order to get her one:
- Application – fill out a simple form and turn it in
- Medical records – prove that she is in the medical system (i.e., doctor’s note)
- Identification – prove that she was born (i.e., birth certificate)
- BRING ALL THIS SHIT IN TO THE OFFICE
In addition to the time being spent filling out and gathering this information, there are fees to even get it. To obtain a birth certificate in King County, it is $20. For any other payment method beside mailing it in or waiting in line, it would be $32.50. Yes, for almost $13 more, I could do it online but I won’t because that is stupid. The next thing is filling out the order form because it is a bit awkward when the form asks which hospital she was born. The office assistant at the midwives office made a remark that this has occurred before and they don’t really have any answers. Okay… that’s annoying.