The Only Time I’ll Be Glad Someone Calls Out My Postpartum Belly Flab

Gym Hottie: “Uhm, babe?”

Me: “What?”

Gym Hottie: “Turn to the side.”

Me: *turns to my side*

Gym Hottie: “If you’re pregnant, I’m going to jump off the balcony. C’mere, let me see.”

*pulls on my postpartum pooch*

“Okay, good; never mind.”

Me:

We are not ready for another baby. But I can see how that scared the shit out of GH.

5 months postpartum pregnancy scare

not pregnant.

Has your partner said something very very very dumb about your body?

You can find me tweeting my hatred for pants on twitter, filtering the shit outta my kids’ mugs on Instagram, pinning food I’ll never make on Pinterest, and being a wannabe grownup on Google+

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Remembering When Your Husband Forgot Your Birthday On His Birthday

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Birthdays are a huge deal to me. I hate Christmas (birthday shout-out to Jesus though) and basically every other celebrated day out there. Those aren’t personal or unique but a day when my loved one was born and I’m like a freakin’ genie because I want to make it special for you, if I can. As such, I enjoy my birthday too, as you imagine because I was wonderfully born that day. If not for that day, you wouldn’t be reading this, of course so send thanks to Azn Grandma. Before my kids’ birthdays as the most important birth days of my life, Gym Hottie’s birthday was an additional date once he became a part of my life.

husband forgot birthday.jpgToday is his birthday and I am one-upping my husband today. I mean, I don’t like to brag but I will go above and beyond than all the special doting on January 7th. Going a tiny huge step above my husband did for my special day, I will at least remember his birthday. I acknowledge that I, shitty wife of the year, remembered the day my husband was born. I’m winning at this day already than, say, the entire day of my birthday.

That’s right, my loves, GH forgot my 27th birthday this year. No breakfast in bed or birthday cash on the counter. Not a single birthday text from work nor a call. He did however have his 9-month-pregnant wife speak to the credit card company, that sweet, sweet man. It wasn’t until he came home from work and decided to drink my coveted “special drink,” a 20-oz bottle of Coca-Cola I save for three two days sipping here and there. I spouted, “You would drink my drink on my birthday!” That’s how I knew he forgot. He probably let out the biggest “ohhhhhhhhhhhhh shit” of his life.

So what I took my pregnant ass to get my own birthday cake later that night on a junk food run, it’s all water under the bridge, I say. I’m letting bygones be bygones and I actually asked if he wanted anything special for dinner tonight. I may be a shitty wife but a forgiving one. GH may be a forgetful husband but shitty he is not. Even though junk food demands took place of that meaningful birthday text, which I never got:

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Has your partner ever forgotten your birthday? Forgot your partner’s?

You can find me tweeting my hatred for pants on twitter, filtering the shit outta my kids’ mugs on Instagram, pinning food I’ll never make on Pinterest, and being a wannabe grownup on Google+

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