A Lao Thanksgiving is Best Paired With a White Christmas

What do you get when you have an old pit bull, face bruises, and a nice nap in a brewery? Humnoy’s first Christmas!

We drove five hours to Humnoy’s grandparents in Montana. Now this should be a dead giveaway to which set of grandparents when I said “Montana.” I don’t think you’re about to find a Lao population that is off the charts here in Big Sky Country! He had a Lao Thanksgiving and now he’s enjoyed a White Christmas! Unfortunately, within the first half hour of us arriving in Montana, poor little Humnoy was too cute for his own good and the old family dog left a nice scab on his forehead. I cried more than he did because I’m not an animal person and this surely sealed my disdain. We’re all fine and dandy by keeping a close eye and muzzle on that female dog bitch.

It’s always nice to be around people who adore this child as much as I or my husband do. Unless my in-laws’ only child wants to be featured on Maury Povich with a illegitimate child scandal then their only grandchildren will come from my womb so they may express some sort of bias. It’s still equally nice that they think Humnoy is the most adorable baby to ever grace this land and the next. As a part of a tradition started Fathers Day weekend, we have made a trip to the local brewery every time we have visited Helena. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a baby in a brewery on Christmas Eve? It’s MONTANA; they don’t card. That night, he got to open his very first Christmas present! As with any other simple-minded child, he is most impressed with the cardboard and paper above all else.

Come Christmas morning and my kid probably just thinks it’s just another day in Humnoy World but he gets claps and praise for tearing shit up this time! He received plenty of wooden puzzles, books, and giggles from us at his wrapping paper destruction! I still can’t get over the Dr. Seuss backpack, it slays me every time but he gets pissed if I try to stuff his arms in them now. He got some awesome shoes for walking now that he is 60/40 bi-pedal and has two face bruises to show for it.

One fish, two fish - a baby's first backpack!

Straight to the mouth

Looks a little like an Asian-comic book super hero

My husband and his family hail from North Carolina and I have been introduced to Southern sweet (very sweet!) iced tea, broccoli cheese casserole, and pimento cheese. It is fitting to say that while Laotian food has its own distinct culture, I’m glad Humnoy gets a whole other food culture that is distinct as well! Southern food may have a bad rep thanks in large part to Paula Deen aka Mrs. Whole-Stick-of-Butter but don’t knock it till you try it. With baby-led solids, we have been careful with salt and processed food but lucky for us, sweet potatoes are commonplace in Southern food and the baby-led solids gurus approve of sweet potato. While the Southern Christmas rendition requires brown sugar, Humnoy goes to town in his Smocket Pocket, a Mama-requested Christmas gift.

Hope your Christmas was filled with love and laughter! What was your favorite gift your little one(s) received? Did you reach any new milest0ne(s) this holiday?

Sharing Shrimp Chips is Caring

My favorite Asian snack chips is, hands down, baked shrimp chips. They are salty, shrimpy, and crunchy. Humnoy is a son of mine because he loves them just as much as I do. I should also note that this is the same kid who loves chewing on paper so he is not a picky eater.

I like to think of myself as the best Mama I can be for this kid and I’m proud of the things he’s learned and expresses. This next thing is something I don’t recall researching or even attempting to teach him. Folks, here is my son showing that sharing is caring.

Doc, I Swear I’m Not SIDS-ing My Kid.

This morning was Humnoy’s twice-rescheduled “6-month well checkup” appointment with his pediatrician. The first rescheduling was because I wasn’t quite ready to go in as I was still researching vaccines and copped out by saying “I had to drive my husband to work.” The second reschedule was because I had an opportunity to work some more hours – true story!

I matter-of-factly noted to the nurse that we are no longer vaccinating and she noted that for the doctor. I was so proud of how I said it because I was so nervous that I would break down and have to be super-defensive about my decision. The pretend scenario in my head went like this because I can be a little mousey:

Nurse: “Do you have any questions or concerns for Dr. _____ to answer?”
Me: “… No. WELL. *tsk* Uh, yeah. Um , we’re not doing vaccines anymore???”

Oh, what a smart marketing coy with the adorable choo-choo train!

I totally didn’t flake or come off as self-conscious! As the nurse leaves and as Humnoy pees all over the exam table, I’m having a super-proud Mommy moment as I dawdle around getting a diaper on. I still have my defense mode button turned on but only on idle. The doctor comes in and greets us like usual and is very supportive of us not vaccinating at the appointment. Sweet– defense mode button turned completely off! He goes through the medical-school-pounded checkup sayings like Humnoy should be able to eat three solid meals a day now, rice cereal should be iron-fortified, and he can have meat at nine months. I’m pretty sad he totally didn’t remember that we are doing baby-led solids. Humnoy enjoys chicken and beef, he eats bananas, pears, and sweet potatoes, and has never had mashed-up baby food like the doctor suggested. I forgive his outdated information and just listen and politely nod. He’s not being offensive so I’m not being defensive!

Doctor: “If you’re wanting to get [vaccines] later on down the road, you can just do ________ rather than ______ because I think it was ______ that caused that reaction.”

Oh, hell naw. I guess I wasn’t clear that “anymore” means to not ever. I really should brush up on geographical use of terms because I guess here that doesn’t mean what it’s supposed to mean. Anyway, I just smile and thank him for the information and say nothing more. Defense mode switched back to idle now.

Doctor: “Does he sleep through the night now?”
Me: “Well, we co-sleep so yes and no? It’s hard for me to remember because I get such good sleep.” *bragging smile*
Doctor: *checking Humnoy’s baby testicles* “Those look great— Well, as a medical professional, I will tell you that co-sleeping is not recommended because of the risk of SIDS.”
Me: *Uh, WTF?*
Doctor: *inaudible as I’m still processing* “…. co-sleeping…. for birth to 6 months… not good … he’s fine now….”

"What, really?! No needles this time, Ma?"

Oh, hell to the no! Defense mode ON, ON, ON. I shut my mouth because, after all, he went to medical school and I’m sure he nursed and co-slept with all his children. Oh, wait, he didn’t so what is he talking about? He goes on to say a SIDS death of a patient was due to the fact that the baby rolled over into a soft spot and suffocated. Since Humnoy has slept in our queen-sized bed, there has yet to be an incident near anything like the risk of SIDS. Plus, I am not shitfaced wasted when going to bed either. By this point, I’m just done with trying to “school” my pediatrician on all the research I’ve done for this child of mine and how “recommendations” are outdated and unnecessary so defense mode is just shut down to save energy.

Doctor: “He should be crawling in about a month or so. Get ready to baby-proof your house.”
Me: *giggle* “He’s been crawling for a good two months now.”
Doctor: “Oh, great. He’s such a smart boy. You have a beautiful child. Very healthy.”

Phew! Gosh, at least I’m doing something right with this 17-lb and 27-inch-long boy! 😉

Yeah, I Said It: I Hate Cloth Diapering

I hate cloth diapering right now. It sucks. It grosses me out. Et cetera, et cetera! On top of us living in an apartment building with coin-operated laundry and spending approximately *$40 $28 on washing cloth diapers alone, Humnoy has been having some mean ol’ poops. As most of us everyday folk are unaware, solid fecal matter is “supposed” to be tossed and flushed in the toilet, recommended for both cloth and disposables. Yeah, you don’t see that in your Trivial Pursuit. Breastmilk poop is water-soluble so that wasn’t a problem until he had grabby hands and hungry eyes on big people food. I’ve been implementing what is known as the “dunk and swish” method, where I take a poopy diaper and swirl it in the toilet bowl until the chunky gunk comes off. You say, “Well, buy a diaper sprayer! It’s a cloth diapering girl’s best friend!” Girlfriend, I wish I could if I wasn’t already dishing out *half a month’s a week’s worth of gas money. (Plus, I’m ranting so let me finish).

Dunk and swish (i.e., gross and nasty) from http://naturalfeelsright.blogspot.com

Now, I love that we are not contributing to landfills, extra trash bags, and the like. I also love that I have “cloth diapering” added to my list of mom bragging on your top right column there! But c’mon, I thought I was ballsy enough to withstand this noise until he potty trained but now I’m not so sure.

Here are two scenarios I foresee if I were to make a choice on what I’ll do to keep myself sane:

Scenario One
I don’t offer my 7-month-old any solid food whatsoever. We go cold turkey and ignore his raving banshee screams for some toast. When we’re out and the Husband and I enjoy a meal cooked by someone else, we don’t look Humnoy in the eye so we don’t see that desperate look to try out what Mama and Daddy are eating. Results: Sad and hungry baby; sad Mama and Daddy.

Scenario Two
Keep doing what we’ve been doing, which is baby-led solids, and just live with a soggy pail liner and stewing diapers every three days. Results: Normal, happy Humnoy; crazy, frazzled, lazy Mama (this is normal for me though).

Three months old, before solids 'reared' its ugly head

I know I could just spend the laundry money on disposables every month and that would be the end-all. I’ve come this far and fought tooth and nail with the unsupportive nay-sayers and justifying why I would put up with it. My grandmother would surely show her disappointment, I’m guessing, since I’m trying my best to be a third-world Lao mom. I’ve done a lot of things that others have said I couldn’t from getting fat during pregnancy, to having a natural birth, and practicing attachment parenting. I’ve heard it all, but if it’s at the cost of doing what is natural and best for my baby, then I’ll dunk and swish the shit (no pun intended) out of it. Here’s to eating more pears, Humnoy!

*I’m Asian and I can’t do math apparently.