A Quick Guide to Understanding Laotian Names

Contrary to popular online usage and recognition, I did not (legally) bestow upon my child the first name of ‘little testicles.’ My first-born is known by Humnoy and I would like to clarify that it is his Laotian nickname and not his official first name. I decided long ago that this blog would keep my family’s anonymity so it goes to say that Theek, Humnoy, and Gym Hottie are not our actual names on paper.

You see, in Laotian culture, oftentimes babies are given nicknames well before a name is decided. And you will also see that they are not the most flattering or serious of nicknames. ‘Hum’ means “testicles” and ‘noy/noi’ means “small/little” then you figure out the rest. Legend has it that this tradition of giving babies far-from-endearing nicknames was started to ward off spirits that may want to steal the child because of beautiful names (i.e., their first name). If they’re nicknamed ‘Thooey’ (“Fatty”) or ‘Dahm’ (“Dark”), then ain’t no scary monster-ghost gonna come get your “fat” or “dark,” new baby.

My children (and I) have beautiful Laotian first names and, of course, embarrassing Laotian nicknames. Continuing with the theme of shamelessly anonymously blogging here at the Laotian Commotion, my brand new Bébé Girl will be known as none other as La Noi Noy. ‘La’ is a variation of the term for “girl” and you should remember from our first lesson what ‘noi/noy’ means.

Disclaimer: I clearly see now that my first-born got the short end of the stick on the whole nickname gig. Hope his sister doesn’t get taken to the Dark Side since hers is not as amusing.

So, recapping: what does Lanoi Lanoy mean?

Follow The Laotian Commotion by entering your email under my Follow widget, located on the Home page sidebar. I love when you get to read it from your inbox and absolutely love it when you take the time to comment!

You can also follow me on Twitter, find me on Instagram under LaotianMama, and my Pinterest too.

Wearing a Baby and a Grandmother’s Memory

Dear Grandmother Mone,

Although Humnoy was born long after your passing, I strive to provide your presence in his life and mine. You are my constant inspiration – this blog, parenting choices, and in karma. I wouldn’t be where I am without your memory of strong will and instinctive motherhood in a country I am grateful to know of but to not have been born in at a time of war reparation.

I wore your *sinh to Humnoy’s *phakhouane and most recently to Lao New Year. It was an unbelievable honor to be able to keep you and my baby close to my heart. I hope you are proud of me and that the blessings from the New Year reach to you and that you know how much I miss you.

Love,
Theek

*sinh, the traditional Lao skirt made of silk and cotton.

**phakhouane, a symbolic offering to the assembled gods and a a welcome mat and gift for the returning khouanes

The Advantages of Gifting Money like Laotians

Lao mafioso

You can’t have a Lao birthday party with Laotians without cash gifts. Growing up, that is all you ever got as birthday presents. You know you’re going to a Lao birthday party when you’re stuffing an envelope with cash just as you’re getting ready to head out the door. Guests at Lao weddings, kids birthdays, and even funerals, always know the drill – cash money is the standard. Registry in Laos? Yeah, right!

In American social grace, it is poor etiquette to give money in lieu of a gift. They say it’s bad taste and disrespectful. They also say that it takes away the magic of surprise and thoughtfulness. I, as a frequent patron of Laotian celebrations, say that there are many great advantages to providing money as a gift. Here is your guide to the advantages of gifting cash money like a Laotian:

Advantage #1: Gifting money saves you time.

Don’t even lie – you have bought a gift on the way to that said event. I’m guilty of it too, it’s even made me late to the parties! Money saves you a trip to the store and it’s two easy steps:

1. Stuff envelope with cash or check written to guest(s) of honor.
2. Write name of guest(s) of honor on envelope. DONE!

If you want to get real fancy, you can stuff it in a nice envelope or something. Who are we kidding? Let’s keep it simple, stupid.

Advantage #2: Money has more than one use.

I did make a wedding registry, when one of my mother-in-law’s friends wanted to get us a gift (they’re from the South) and gifted a cutlery set. Before this, I literally had four forks, four spoons, and my demo set from when I sold CutCo knives after high school. True story. While I love that I have real butter knives now, it can only go so far. I can’t buy gas with my spoons nor can I pay for parking with an ultra fancy serrated edge. Got change from breaking that $20? You can do laundry or get a soda machine pop! Money is a jack of all trades!

Advantage #3: Money is eco-friendly.

Rather than have a bunch of trash to throw away, envelopes and money are more socially conscious. Money is paper; paper come from trees; trees are for hugging. Therefore you’re an honorary hippie/Laotian when you gift money. Even if you’re not green, just think about how your gift will be the most neatly packaged without any annoying tape.

Advantage #4: Money saves you the lack of thoughtfulness on the gift.

Sure, you could spend countless hours thinking of the perfect gift but why risk it and fail? Just give him a chunk of change and let the recipient choose what they really want. Maybe they really want to make a trip to the liquor store to celebrate? (I don’t judge) Your gift will make all their drunk dreams come true and they’ll thank you for contributing to a good night out or in, wherever their sorrows take them. Money is very thoughtful – thought just comes from the person receiving it!

Advantage #5: EVERYBODY likes money.

If you have those people in your life that are difficult to “shop” for, then your answer is a gift card! WRONG. The right answer is cash money. There is just something very appealing with the smell of green paper and ease of use. I don’t know anybody who can’t use some cash, unless your friends are crackheads then get them the damn gift card. Be confident that your gift will never need a gift receipt, ’nuff said.

Rollin'

Note: Friends and family, we appreciate your kindness and gifts. Humnoy had an amazing birthday party with lots of great items!

How do you buy gifts for those difficult-to-buy-for friends and family? How do you feel about giving money? To children?