Not Your Average Pregnancy Update: A Christmas (Belly) Vacation

NYAPU: Not Your Average Pregnancy Update I’m not here to tell you the size of my unborn child because even I don’t care if I have a petrified bean or a stumpy turnip taking my uterus hostage. I don’t plan on sharing the number of stretch marks (zero so far) or what I’m craving (food– I crave food). This is going to be the pregnancy update you never wanted to know yet will appreciate the impending honesty. Plus, don’t you want to know how horribly fat I’ve gotten?

{Check out other updates here: pregnancy updates} I spent my 34th week of pregnancy celebrating Christmas in Gym Hottie’s hometown in North Carolina. Last year’s Christmas was spent in Montana but this year’s started out with a much anticipated Bojangles visit and was filled with lots of Southern comfort food and hospitality, of course.

How far along? Today~ 34 weeks, 6 days. Tomorrow~ 35 weeks exactly. I know- I’m a math genius.

Measuring? … one week ahead. Still, thank goodness.

Weight? Surprised I didn’t gain nearly as much as I thought with celebrating Christmas in North Carolina. I gained three pounds in a week eating southern BBQ, Bojangles, sweet tea, and being pregnant.

Mood? Tired. With the time difference, I reveled in those lazy cat naps from Southern cookin’. We justified sleeping in by abiding to our Seattle time so waking up at 10 am means we’re actually getting our day started at 7 am!

Midwife said? My next visit will be a ‘home visit,’ which falls on my 36th week. The reason for a home visit is not only to get an idea of how to get to my place but to get an idea of our home, a spacious one-bedroom apartment in a gated community. They like to make sure we have running water and electricity, which makes sense. I wouldn’t want to attend a home birth without either… either.

Braxton Hicks? … with a wild toddler is really uncomfortable. Humnoy likes to roll around on me to get from point A to point B and when a BH hits, it makes it more difficult to breathe through it.

Breastfeeding? Humnoy was much more preoccupied with Christmas happenings than with nursing so he barely nursed, if at all. I honestly thought it was the start of weaning. Once we got home though, he asked to nurse plenty. This child.

Vagina? Oddly enough, sleeping on a more firm king-sized mattress at my in-laws helped with my SPD and I barely noticed any pain. Our pillow top queen may not be offering the support I need at this point in my pregnancy.

What did you do to prepare with less than 6 weeks to go?

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Not Your Average Pregnancy Update Blog Post

NYAPU: Not Your Average Pregnancy Update I’m not here to tell you the size of my unborn child because even I don’t care if I have a petrified bean or a stumpy turnip taking my uterus hostage. I don’t plan on sharing the number of stretch marks (zero so far) or what I’m craving (food– I crave food). This is going to be the pregnancy update you never wanted to know yet will appreciate the impending honesty. Plus, don’t you want to know how horribly fat I’ve gotten?

At least my hurr looks guud.

How far along? 31 weeks, 3 days. That means if I make it to Humnoy’s birth day, it will be exactly 10 more weeks.

Measuring? … one week ahead. Remember how I measured three weeks ahead both here and here? Relieved yet also a bit mortified to realize I was just having a fat day at the last few prenatal appointments. Whatever. At least I shrunk.

Weight? From here on out, I will compare my weight against Gym Hottie so I am currently 15 pounds away from matching my 6’0″ husband. The man can wear my maternity jeans.

Mood? Top three moods lately have been: 1) Tired, 2) Cranky, and 3) Very tired. Must be that pesky nesting stage bringing that surge of hormones.

Midwife said? 1) Bébé is head-down; 2) taking some Tylenol is okay for SPD, if I wanted; 3) I should definitely arrange for postpartum help, especially with a toddler.

I’m now most concerned with number three because holy shit, she’s right. I had my mama come for Humnoy’s arrival from the hospital and I would have starved, stank to high heaven, and would have given up on breastfeeding if it weren’t for her help. I can’t afford a postpartum doula and we cannot afford for GH to miss work.

Braxton Hicks? Is it pathetic that I had to ask for a description of BH because I honestly didn’t remember what those felt like? Well, after the student midwife reminded me, I reported I had those about 2-3 times a day. It also reminded me that they’re a bitch. I have to find awkward positions to disposition my lower half out of it to get comfortable. Sometimes they leave me out of breath.

Breastfeeding? When my milk came back a few weeks ago, breastfeeding Humnoy has been… interesting. I’m touched out because he’s now a twiddler. He will just nonchalantly lay there and when I’m not blocking my chest, he’ll reach for any spare tit he finds. I offer to nurse but then even that makes me squicked out. I feel horribly bad for feeling that way but I blame that nesting phenomenon.

Vagina? Yes, in working order. Still suffering from symphysis pubis dysfunction but still getting laid. That’s all that matters, right?

How did you share your pregnancy updates with others?

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You can also follow me on Twitter, find me on Instagram under LaotianMama, and my Pinterest too.

My Biggest Pregnancy Fear Isn’t Childbirth

Gym Hottie always makes wide-eyes at my expanding bump and when I complain about a pain (“Babe, are you sure you’re [however far along the calendar notes],” he’ll ask). He questions because I’m a lot bigger than last pregnancy (“Second babies show bigger/sooner,” says everyone) and my previous measurements have already played this joke on me once. It got to make its second, yet directly proportionate, joke during the monthly prenatal visit. My vitals were perfect, heartbeat was strong, and I’m still measuring three weeks ahead. Wait. What?

The measurements combined with my internal nag doesn’t calm my nerves any less. Why am I the only one freaking out? The midwives laughed it off and assured me that my measurements are just that. Upon assessing it again, I realized I’m the only one freaking out because I’m afraid.

It’s not because of labor or my planned homebirth. That noise is easy. I’m afraid I’m not ready. I’m afraid I’m not going to have enough time with Humnoy. Three weeks is a significant amount of preparation meaning my mom-to-one freedom is slowly depleting and coming quicker than anticipated. I’m a nervous wreck because time isn’t on my side, three weeks or not. My ultimate fear of losing it while parenting is more plausible and my insecurities as a future mother of two will be realized. That’s why I’m seriously buggin’.

What is your biggest fear in pregnancy other than childbirth?

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You can also follow me on Twitter, find me on Instagram under LaotianMama, and my Pinterest too.

Speed (Baby) Bump Ahead: A Sign of Things to Come

We recently moved to our own apartment from our temporary living situation with a family member when we first arrived in May. We now have a place to know where Bebe #2 will be born! Is it normal to feel a little odd planning to set up a birth pool in an apartment?

Speaking of homebirth, I totally slept through my alarm to go to my prenatal appointment with my midwife and I feel totally and completely like a shit person. I was so embarrassed that I avoided their follow-up call. Missing an appointment is not like me, being late is but completely not showing up? No way! I had a vision that they kicked me out of their practice for being flaky. It then led to my superstitious bone telling me that I’m going to flake my homebirth too. Definitely hope that this wasn’t a sign.

Humnoy has still been his typical self: runnin’ around being cute, dry-nursing to nap/sometimes bedtime, and still haven’t a clue about what’s coming in February. A baby brother or sister, that’s what. He understands “baby in mama’s belly” – the words, not the concept. He was away from his mama and daddy for the longest time ever this past Saturday when I was a part of a wedding. I didn’t couldn’t pump any milk (see: ‘dry-nursing’) and wasn’t there for bedtime. This is a huge stepping stone in 17 months of parenthood solely because he did so freakin’ well, I’m a little butt-hurt.

You better believe I would have dropped whatever I was doing to get him if need be! Well, that’s only half-true because he was in great hands and I was having a lot of fun being a bridesmaid. We both did well and he got to fall asleep with his daddy and see Mama’s smiling face in the morning. Let’s hope this is a sign of him upping his big brother game to another level, eh?

Honorable mentions:
– Humnoy signs for “Blues Clues” (flashing both hands) and can request “Curious George” by imitating a monkey.
– New words are ‘gaga’ for his Binky and ‘kees’ for keys.
– Current favorite plaything are keys.
– Loves trying to pick locks, drive the playground wheel, and knows where the ignition goes with said keys.

What is a nice gesture for my midwives office to make up for my lapse in punctuality? A box of donuts?